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I suppose this, too, is a form of overthinking.

(I'm sharing because there's a chance some of this stuff could be useful. Maybe.)

I didn't always do this. I was naive, yes, frequently frightened, but I did stuff. Nowadays I just sit and stew in and endless tirade of negative what-ifs.

Much of that is the anxiety/depression/stress (less of a mountain range these days, now just lots of little feet tripping me up whenever I stop looking). Some if it's growing up, losing innocence. The rest, I don't know. I do a lot of avoidance these days. I've even become scared of writing. That sounds ridiculous. I'm scared of failing at writing because I know it's what I'm supposed to do and if I don't write, I don't fail.

Everything has become negative like that. When? How? Why?

Uni was good. Uni made me feel like I could actually live my dreams. I need to find a way back to that person. I need to write again. Hell, even writing this feels fantastic.


05 May 2015 Leave a comment

Plans afoot

It's been a while since I had something to say. Now I have quite a lot, suddenly, and at last a long weekend in which to do so.

There's a bit of a plan unfolding. Remember that tea room I wanted? I still want it. I have very little to my name so I'm starting small, but I also have a whole heap of ideas.

Stay tuned.


03 April 2015 Leave a comment

Warmth, and a desk

In January, I bought a desk from ebay and picked it up from Cheltenham, mainly because it was there. I also have a friend nearby who I welcome any excuse to visit.

I meant to write about it at the time but I was thinking about all of the people who might have my old address(es), and a 90th birthday cake, and other things.

The above is it currently, pending additional storage and maybe a chair.

Due to reasons, we haven't had any heating all winter, which was difficult. So we moved a few weeks ago to a house with heating and a wood burner that is nicer in many other ways too.

Then I took some photos for people who live far away. Kitchen, which I am rather fond of, close up of my favourite corner, lounge with strangely glowing television wall.

11 March 2014 Leave a comment

Endings and beginnings

I've just finished two little stories. One is for children, titled 'Scout and the Invisible Cat who used to be a knight.' The other is a spooky short called 'One October Evening.' I don't think they reach 1000 words between them; that's why they took so long.

I miss being around wordy, writing-y people. Who understand that writing is harder for writers, not easier. Who've heard of Slaughterhouse-5 and Love in the Time of Cholera and Catch-22. And Neil Gaiman and Jasper Fforde.

Last, last weekend I went to Cheltenham to see a friend and to see Neil Gaiman. I hitched a ride to Newport with my in-laws who'd just been to visit, got the train to Gloucester and the bus to Cheltenham and arrived just in time. He was lovely, of course, and we did queue in the rain, and of course it was worth it. I wanted to talk to him for hours but all I managed to say was my name.

We did get a wee reference in his blog: http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2013/10/a-perfect-week.html

I went to Cheltenham, and talked and signed at the literary festival there: 400 people queued up afterwards, most of them in the rain, and I felt very guilty indeed.

He shouldn't feel too guilty. I mean, we were there because we wanted to see him. He was just there because he's nice or something.

I missed Jasper Fforde in Penarth / Newport, and the MCM Expo London Comic Con, which saddened me. On the up side, I now have a job! Hooray! Huzzah! Hoorah!

30 October 2013 1 Comment

In which I wish I could do more to support libraries

It was worst back when I was in uni, the libraries, with a swath of cuts being proposed country-wide, but I suspect it had been happening quietly for some time before then. This from the same folks who think the youth of the nation spend too much time playing video games and being influenced in the ways of violence (having also told them they can't play outside - but I'll not go there just now).

Then we said no way and so they still closed a bunch, although it was far less. They also said no to the 75% (seventy five!) cuts proposed in Herefordshire, and you can see the wonderful results of that here: you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/save-herefordshire-s-libraries

The Library Campaign unites groups, users and petitions under one banner - and that banner has an owl in it. They are a registered charity running on donations and membership fees. Because it's still happening. Even Kensal Rise, opened by Mark Twain in 1900, isn't safe. For the full list, including things we can actually do to stop this madness, go here: www.librarycampaign.com/campaigns

Speak up for Libraries is also on the case and has a conference coming up on 23rd November (in London) where, judging by the speakers, they look to be having some very interesting chats: www.speakupforlibraries.org/speakers.asp

The ever wonderful Neil Gaiman has plenty to say about the matter, and just did so in Reading in fact: www.thebookseller.com/news/gaiman-closing-libraries-stopping-vaccinations.html. I'm hoping they'll put some more of this up somewhere soon; if they do, I'll pop it below.

Meanwhile, the kitten has stolen my H key and it, the key, is nowhere to be found; Darryl is a minion (www.onceuponatee.net/all-products/daryl-mixon), as is my sister's birthday cake (twitter.com/jenbeeuk/status/390088132449673216/photo/1); and my friend's husband got his spot in the MCM London Comic Con Comic Village, which is total awesome socks (www.mcmcomiccon.com/london/attractions/comic-village* - scroll down to find EvilHairDay), and here's his main site: www.evilhairday.co.uk.

*As has Widdershins, see bottom and here: www.widdershinscomic.com/wdshn/sleight-of-hand-cover

Extracts! readingagency.org.uk/news/media/neil-gaiman-delivers-our-second-annual-lecture.html

15 October 2013 Leave a comment

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